#8 The Unibrow

The Unibrow is a person so bold, so naturally hairy, that their forehead functions as a modern-day Land Bridge. Using only a ratty string of facial hair, two seemingly separate halves of the head are united. I would say peacefully, but usually theirs a brown-and-curly battle over the upper-nose territory.
You may find it [...]

#7 The Pencil Chinstrap

The Pencil Chinstrap is the thin line between facial hair and gaycial hair. It’s beard meets Etch-A-Sketch. A matte frame around a meaty face.
You see, the regular chinstrap is not enough. It’s way too thick and not nearly as abrasive. For people like Pencil Chinstraps, that facial hair needs to be chiseled [...]

#6 The Carlos Mencia

The Carlos Mencia is the Grim Reaper of joketelling. He is to comedy what WalMart is to quality merhcandise. Always shitty. Like a Ghost of Comedians Past, The Carlos Mencia will steal jokes you once loved and rehash them into some generic “Beaner” garbage.
The Carlos Mencia does not need to be a [...]

#5 The Emo Kid

The Emo Kid is perhaps the most obvious, most teased, and most vulnerable member of the Idiot Pants Party. It doesn’t matter if you’re obese, fugly, or suffer from a chronic Fake Tanning, you can always turn a pointed-finger at the Emo.
They are the shunned step-brothers of Goth Kids and the “two-drink minimum” of [...]

#4 The Tattoo Freak

Nothing’s as permanent as a tattoo. And the Tattoo Freak aims to make you uncomfortably aware of that fact. From eyelid to asshole, they aim to turn their body into a nauseating canvas. Don’t like it? Good. Because they would be sick to their stomach if you did. You [...]

#3 The Fake Tan

There is something to be said for that bright thing in the sky that we call the Sun. It gives us life, food, and more importantly, tans. But there is a particular brand of idiot that chooses to ignore that glowing ball of energy, and in it’s place, put a florescent bulb and some [...]

#2 The Over-Encouraging Parent

If you’ve ever smoked weed with your friend’s parents, than you know the Over Encouraging Parent.
They are eager to push their child to experience it all, no matter what the age or maturity level. They want their kids to be the first and the best — the trailblazer among their peers. [...]

#1 The Blowout

There is something particularly obnoxious about the Blowout haircut. I’m not sure if it’s the sheer volume of hair gel required, the smugness of the person wearing it, or the potential safety risk of all those greasy spikes, but The Blowout strives to place itself in the upper echelon of douchebaggery.
As far [...]

Welcome to Idiot Pants Party!

Welcome to the most comprehensive gathering of people being idiots on the internet.  
I have always been fascinated by stupid people.  Even as a young lad, I would ask my parents “why is that man wearing a mesh t-shirt?” or “why does that woman have the number 69 shaved in the side of her head?”
Needless [...]