#32 The Stoner

While the rest of the world struggles with Global Warming, economic downturn, and the threat of nuclear war, one man sits isolated, on a couch, with a bag of Funions and a glass bong named the Green Lantern. This man is the Stoner. And he’s got no idea what’s goin on. [...]

#31 The Back-of-Head Sunglasses Guy

There is something absurdly obnoxious about a guy that chooses to rock his sunglasses flipped upside-down and behind his head. Even if the sun is blaring in this guy’s eyes, it makes no difference. His shades are sitting pretty, totally useless, on the back of his head.
Much like an out-of-control teen on Rikki [...]

#30 The “I Bet She’s Crazy In The Sack”

There’s a saying in the male community: “If she scares your head, she’s good in bed”. In other words, if she’s crazy enough to scare the shit out of you, she can probably rip your Johnson off when you unleash her sexuality.
The “I Bet She’s Good In Bed” is most known for that signature [...]

#29 The Movie Theater Applauder

here’s always one person that ruins a great experience. At Faber College it was Dean Wormer, in the 90s it was that parachuting fan man, and since then, it’s been the Movie Theatre Applauder. Where the former two were single, flash-in-the-pan jackasses (on par with Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath), the Movie Theatre Applauder [...]

#28 The Reality Show Contestant

There was a time when it horrified the public to hear that guitar-legend Robert Johnson had sold his soul at the crossroads for Rock God status. Yet today, no one bats an eye when the Reality Show Contestant whores their soul out for a pack of American Spirits, a fresh strain of Herpes, and [...]

#27 The White Trash

Somewhere between patriotism and a 30-pack of Busch Lite lies the social anomaly known as White Trash. Yes, this is the American wasteland where pulling out is birth control, pregnant women have belly button rings, and the mullet is king.
You’ll know the White Trash by their signature “inbred” look. This is not to [...]

#26 The Ringtoner Extraordinaire

The Ringtoner Extraordinaire is the kind of girl who finds human beings so simple, so uncomplicated, that she’s confident in summing them up through one digitized pop song. Whether you’re a friend, coworker or family member, your never too valuable to be replaced by a $1.99 download on their LG Chocolate.
The most prevalent flaw [...]

#25 The Brohan

“No worries, bro.”
There’s something about a dude with blond-tipped hair and a shell necklace telling me, “It’s all zen, bro” that makes me naseuas. But such is the laid-back mantra of the Brohan. Can’t make the party? That’s chill. Get lost on your way to the beach? No worries, mate. [...]

#24 The Home Plate Waver

The Home Plate Waver is the biggest gip amongst a whole slew of gips commonly referred to as baseball fans. Seen loafing on a plastic chair 4 rows behind the umpire, he demands the TV audience know he’s part of the broadcast — all 4 centimeters of his bulbous head.
Using the patented Frantic [...]

#23 The Fake Friend

“Oh my God, Theenk you sooooooooo much!”
There is no one as transparent and flaky as the Fake Friend. Having a party? She’ll totally be there! But don’t hold your breath, because she won’t be.
The Fake Friend is the first to call you her BFF, and the last person to actually [...]