There was once a time where you had to take a safari to a remote village in Africa to view what is known by anthropologists as “distending discs”, or in simple Americana: “that shit that you put in your skin to make it stretched out”.
But thanks to the popularity of anti-depressants, skateboarding culture, and Chris [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘body’
February 25, 2009
#57 The Non-Tribal Tribesmen
October 30, 2008
#45 The Weightroom Screamer
What’s more eXtreme than lifting weights, sweating, and screaming at the same time? If you said “nothing”, give yourself a pat on the pecks.
The Weightroom Screamer is the most intense, meaty, and vocal of all gym-going men. Every set offers them not just the ability to push their muscles to the limit, but also a [...]
October 22, 2008
#44 The Chinese Symbol Tattoo
The Chinese Symbol Tattoo is the quintessential go-to tattoo of the 21st century. It’s immediately deep, incredibly profound. Not because you read somewhere that it means “honor”, but because everyone of your friends doesn’t understand what it means.
For the Chinese Symbol Tattoo (CST), that little doodle on their arm is proof that [...]
October 2, 2008
#41 The Metrosexual
If it’s cool to be gay, than this guy is balls-deep in an ass. And if being gay is uncool, than this guy is still balls deep, but he’ll be blasting the latest Akon mashup and feigning heterosexuality. This is the confused dichotomy of the Metrosexual — dress like a gay person to [...]
August 5, 2008
#33 The T-Shirt In The Water Guy
“Man, it’s hot today! So I decided to head to the beach for a refreshing dip in the water with all of my clothes on. I just love to soak my body in the cool waters of the Pacific. Let the ocean fill my Jenco jeans, and the the cold waters [...]
June 26, 2008
#18 The Stoplight NoseMiner
Everyone knows there’s three things you can do at a red light: change the radio, send a text, or curse that slow asshole in front of you for stopping at the yellow. But the Stoplight NoseMiner has a different agenda: find that precious ore of booger, and excavate that sucker out.
When their car comes to [...]
June 23, 2008
#16 The Felly Shirt
You wouldn’t shove two pounds of jello into a one pound mold, would you? Of course not. It wouldn’t fit and shit would spill everywhere. But to the Felly Shirt, this magical act of force-fitting is an everyday accomplishment.
Like a pastry chef stuffing cream into doughnut, they squeeze their guts into the smallest [...]
June 7, 2008
#11 The Fake Boob
There’s nothing like two silicon implants of self-confidence. For the Fake Boob, that’s what it’s all about: implanting attention.
Much like Hoodini, the Fake Boob will disappear for a brief moment, then miraculously reappear with a set of rockin’ tits. Bigger ones.
Flaunting is critical to the Fake Boob. In order [...]
May 16, 2008
#4 The Tattoo Freak
Nothing’s as permanent as a tattoo. And the Tattoo Freak aims to make you uncomfortably aware of that fact. From eyelid to asshole, they aim to turn their body into a nauseating canvas. Don’t like it? Good. Because they would be sick to their stomach if you did. You [...]
