#65 The Meathead With The Small Dog

e’ve all seen the swoll meathead out in public, usually devouring a high protein lunch, peppering his egg white omelet with several grunts and elbows propped awkwardly on the table. If his veiny-arm lumps weren’t enough to scare your kids, he’s now raised the ante — he’s purchased a rat and put a dog [...]

#63 The Shitter Graffiti Artist

ost people think of public restrooms as a “last resort shit depository” — the filthy, regrettable step between pooping one’s pants and playing the “How Long Can I Hold It” Game. It’s a place where homeless people go to have sex and where the walls inexplicably are covered in a doody sprinkles. [...]

#58 The Middle-Finger Photo F***

The Middle-Finger Photo Fuck (guy or girl) is a recent phenomenon in the age of the worldwide web. In essence, MFPF revolves around a simple gesture from a simple person. Their purpose? To show off their eminence, mainly as a mindless human void, through a photograph pose consisting of a middle finger directed [...]

#55 The Shell Necklace Sally

he Shell Necklace is the male equivalent to the “pearl necklace”. And I don’t mean the shiny kind that comes from an oyster. I mean the kind that comes from a man’s weiner. And if you’re a male wearing a puka shell necklace, then you might as well go cover yourself in [...]

#54 The Robot-Voice Guy

�ynthesized pop music of the ‘80s lead the Robot-Voice Guy to bust onto the music scene with a metaphorical raging hard-on, reaching his pinnacle with Michael Jackson’s “PYT (Pretty Young Thing)” in ‘83. But since his Thriller apex, Robot-Voice Guy has slowly subjected himself to lower and lower levels of pop music, from the [...]

#51 The Guy-Liner

he guy in eyeliner has become a sudden hit among heterosexual men mainly because of the social acceptance of other feminine styles, specifically faux-hawks and painted fingernails (thank Carson Daly for that one, folks). Guy-Liner, as he’s commonly labeled, is usually a very typical modern man, equipped with a good education, a full-time job, [...]

#37 The Political Buzzkill

hile everyone at the party is getting drunk and having a good time, the Political Buzzkill has only one objective in mind: find that buzz and kill it.
There are two unspoken rules in the world of drinking: Don’t pass out with your shoes on, and Don’t talk about politics. The rules [...]

#36 The Sweater Over Shoulders Herb

n the world of rich yacht-dwelling dipshits, their is one pastel pole-jockey that reigns supreme. This is the Sweater Over Shoulders Herb (or SOSH, for those that’d like to call them it to their face). It takes a bold man to drape a pink sweater over his shoulder like a 1970s country club [...]

#35 The Guido

Nothing says strong like a gallon of LA Looks X-Treme Hold Hair Gel loaded onto the scalp of an Italian twentysomething. Sure, the bottle says it will hold that hair in place for six hours, but…will it also be able to withstand fist fights, sea water, skank juice, and Busch Lite?
Such is [...]

#31 The Back-of-Head Sunglasses Guy

There is something absurdly obnoxious about a guy that chooses to rock his sunglasses flipped upside-down and behind his head. Even if the sun is blaring in this guy’s eyes, it makes no difference. His shades are sitting pretty, totally useless, on the back of his head.
Much like an out-of-control teen on Rikki [...]