#53 The Rick Roller

Look, it was funny at one point.  But this is re-goddamn-diculous.

Look, it was funny at one point. But this is re-goddamn-diculous.

Nothing is less cool than an internet fad. Especially when it’s an internet fad that my Grandma thinks is lame. Yet, for the Rick Roller, this little web “trick” is fresh comic gold. I mean, can you believe it?!! When they click on the link it goes to a silly song!!

It’s not that the Rick Roller means to be annoying. It’s more that they have no idea; this whole “rick roll” thing is a hilarious joke they just heard about yesterday in an AOL chatroom. They’re blatantly unaware that the rest of the world has moved on, and that even Rick Astley himself put out a statement, “anyone that rick rolls after January 1, 2009 is officially a f**king dipshit. Get over it already.

But unfortunately for Rick, these dipshits won’t be slowing their roll. According to a new study put out by the Zizmor Institute, RR’s suffer from what scientists call “trend retardation”, in that they are severely handicapped in their ability to comprehend and utilize current fads. This is perfectly exemplified by their continued use of Kazaa for music downloads and their persistent care for their Tomagotchi virtual pet. They also enjoy paying for internet pornography.

Rick RollerThis is typically why the Rick Roller is not invited to partys, as they have a habit of bringing a compact disc with “Never Gonna Give You Up” on all 14 tracks. That, and the fact they love Ashton Kutcher. This is largely because they believe trucker hats to be currently very “trendy” [they’re not], and equate a successful rick roll to being Punk’d.

You will find the Rick Roller operating on either an Acer or Gateway computer running Windows 95 or possibly Linux. If you have the unfortunate luck of living near a Rick Roller, you may frequently hear a weird, high-pitched noise every few hours. Don’t be scared — this is the sound of their modem dialing into their AOL account, or possibly the sound of them crasturbating (crying and masturbating simultaneously) to a full size Rick Astley cardboard cutout.
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Also Known As: Slow, The Trend Killer, Rickets, The Astley Asshole, Never Gonna Give It Up, The Linking Loser, Dick Roll

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2 Comments

Filed under annoying people, friends, internet, slow, stink, technology, trendy

2 responses to “#53 The Rick Roller

  1. Hello I gotta admit that I was intrigued by your posting , still not really sure what I think .

  2. Anonymous

    Rick Rolls are back full swing…

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